Thursday, March 15, 2012

Addiction and Alcoholism in the SCI 3

I still fought off my disease for a few more years but I finally got and stayed sober. I haven’t had a drink since.

       After my injury, there was a lot of pain but I never abused my medication or went back to drinking. I had finally beat my addictive tendencies. I was lucky to have had insurance through my work. It made me glad to have the ability to pay with insurance I actually worked to get. But I had to take a second leave of absence and ultimately resign from my position as regional manager and go on disability.

       Many victims of SCI’s have excruciating pain and turn to alcohol or prescribed medications to help deal with the pain, depression, shock and grief of their of loss life as they knew it. Lots start innocently with a pain medication that they inevitably build a tolerance to over time and need more just to control the pain but find they enjoy the high. It helps them forget the horror their lives have now become and find ways and means of abusing the prescription. I’ve known some SCI victims who have turned to drinking instead, really putting their already compromised health further in danger. Not to mention putting their fragile emotional and psychological state at great risk for breakdown.

       This is one of reasons why I write my blog; to try and boost the self esteem, worth, image and confidence of the SCI. But once addicted an individual needs helps to stop. There is no is such thing as “will power” when it goes this far. The addict/alcoholic is CONVINCED he/she can quit on his/her own at any time and swears every time will be the last. No matter how much they take it’s never enough and soon they find themselves running out of their meds before their next refill or spending more money than they have in their budget and making every justification in the meantime. For some reason, it’s not hard to talk into yourself into using when you know you shouldn’t with excuses that sound perfectly reasonable at the time. Afterward you feel so guilty, weak, stupid and bad you just want to do the thing that makes you feel good. It’s a vicious cycle that seems to have no end.

       If you’re physically addicted, like I was to alcohol, you NEED to use or get physically sick. A hangover is alcohol withdrawal. That’s why people have “hair of dog of that bit me”, or a morning drink. I did this for many years. I always made CERTAIN I had booze for next day because I knew I’d be sick if I didn’t. I never thought I’d do this, I never thought I’d do a lot of things. That’s how addiction works; you slowly but surely one by one check off the things you thought you’d never do until there’s none left to lower yourself to and your self esteem is in the toilet.

(to be continued)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

4 comments:

  1. All I can say is WOW!!! You are such a fake person. Reading your posted lies its obvious you are a junkie, who abuses her "drugs" and pretends she is better then the rest. You are nothing. You are a broken woman who blames the world for your fuck ups. You are nothing! Just a waste of life junkie. I mean to see all you shit about AA/NA is a joke. Who are you trying to kid? What, you are so used to telling lies, lies, lies, that you feel the need to do so on here as well. I sometimes wish I knew you in life, so I could tell you to your face what you are. A junkie nobody. I can bet you have been through a number of pain doctors. After one gets sick of your seeking, they boot you, so you move onto the next Doc. and keep doing so over and over. Then to pretend you don't "Abuse your meds" is another joke. You can see it in your eyes in you pictures. You look like a drugged up "working girl" and not working in a good way. You look like someone who would be standing on the corner trying to sell your body for your next fix. I mean I read this blog for a laugh. And its to laugh at you. You pretend you are on some high horse with your poor me posts. You most likely caused your own condition through drugging. And have the nerve to act like your working and paying for your own way? Tell me, what kind of jobs do you do laying on your back? Do you wait to Eric leaves and bring on the "Johns" I mean anyone who reads this blog can see you think of no one but yourself. You like all junkies are a user, liar, cheat, and bull shit artist. What you should do is save what little of your hard drugs you can, take them all at once and do Eric and any other person in your life a HUGE favor. It seems everyone does wrong but Lori! What a sad life you live. Laying there feeling sorry for yourself, blaming the world for your condition, and taking your bitterness out on others. One day you going to take it out on the wrong person, and I wish I could be there to see it happen, when the person tells you what you are. You need to do some deep soul searching. You need to stop dressing up like some whore taking pictures. You are obviously a narcissist which in people like you makes you BLIND to the feelings of others. Its always about poor you. Get over yourself. You are a junkie and no better then anyone else. If I knew Eric, and he were a friend, I would do all in my power to convince him to leave your using ass. And I mean using as in using people and using your pills to still get high. Maybe you should do Eric, and anyone else in your life a HUGE favor and put yourself in a home or a 6 foot deep hole.

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  2. That was such a mean and useless comment. Seriously! Why would anyone leave such a comment?!

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  3. Wow.. judge others lest you be judged.. until you are in her shoes then dont make assumptions.. that was sad to read..

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please feel free to be as open, honest, blunt, and real as think you need to when leaving your comment. any of you who can relate to any one of my issues or takes offense to something I've written I'd especially like to hear from. I'm sorry to say that any comments left anonymously will not be published whether positive or negative. however, i still appreciate the insight and value the opinion. Thanks, L.A.M.B.