Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I found myself in intensive outpatient therapy and going to approximately 5 AA meetings a week. Happily, I connected both with my therapist and my group; the only problem was that I couldn’t or wouldn’t dedicate myself to the 12 step meetings. I supposed my justification was that I already committed myself to four days a week and four hours a day to my therapy and reasoned this was enough and no meetings were really necessary.
So each time we made some progress I would get drunk and undo our work. It was during this time that I met Eric. So at the very least I can say was single, in therapy and on medication before I became involved in a relationship. And there was something different about Eric and me from the very start. First, I didn’t fall in love at first sight with Eric as I did with every other relationship before this one. As a matter of fact I told Eric that I would never fall in love again because my heart belonged to someone else. That would have been David, my Pittsburgh love affair with a boy nine years younger than me. A relationship that lasted all of 5 months but was so sick it’s a wonder I’m alive considering how much I drank during and after that affair ended and David would show up at my door all hours of the night and I being so weak would let him in. I still can’t believe that was me who acted in such an irresponsible manner…but it was.
(to be continued)