Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Learning to live by yourself is both a frightening and overwhelming proposition, especially if you’ve never done it. But it is now your time to get acquainted with the most important person in your life, YOU. Think about it clearly for just one moment. If you are not healthy, happy and well adjusted how in the world will you attract a partner who is, not to mention raise children who are or have friendships based on mutual respect for one another, basic philosophies in common and a real trust between each other? The type of relationships you have with others begins squarely with you. That is why it is so vitally imperative you stay out of a relationship until you’ve had time to work on your own character defects, self esteem issues and place in this big bad beautiful world in which you exist.
If you do not have a professional to discuss your issues with, perhaps there is a trusted clergyman or there are always free group settings. I highly recommend any 12 step program which is NOT a religious group but is very spiritual. But it is the fellowship, sponsorship and steps that work to get you healthy. However, there are those that I can’t get to go a meeting no matter what I say or do. I was active in AA for many years due to my love affair with alcohol. I can tell you this from personal experience; you needn’t be an alcoholic to benefit from the 12 steps, any human being can learn a great deal about themselves and regain lost self esteem, worth and confidence as well as release resentments and make amends for wrongs done to others. Wonderful program. If you don’t want to commit to the meetings at least pick up a copy of the12 and 12 which explains the steps and traditions of the program. Find someone who’s been there (like me) and go through each step with your friend who has done it before you.
Or you can open up to close and TRUSTWORTHY friend who is a good listener. Hopefully, this friend must be someone you trust implicitly and have an easy time discussing sensitive matters with. Be sure you are comfortable with this individual.
(to be continued)