Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Refresher Part The End

       Now, you can choose to tell him face to face if you think you’re strong enough not to fall for any of his emotional manipulation and psychological head games, just keep in mind this person is a professional when it comes to leading you away from the real issues, placing blame and laying on guilt trips. So be careful and be strong! Keep reminding yourself you’ve taken enough bullshit from this individual and now it’s your turn to talk, to vent, to unload and to have the upper hand. You will be amazed at the response you get when this other person who has been controlling you hears you standing up for yourself. One important factor to keep in mind, if you are the LEAST bit afraid of physical harm from your soon to be ex, bring a friend or family member along when you have this final confrontation. Make it quick and clean then get your things if they’re not already packed and go to the prearranged place without looking back. Or if you’ve made up your mind that this person is the one who is leaving tell them to pack it up post haste and get out of your home. Give them a fair but not too long amount of time and leave them alone. Don’t stay and fight. Or run the risk of feeling sorry for them. Stick to your guns, this is why having a true and trusted friend by your side so important. You can turn to them in your moments of weakness to help remind why you are doing what you are you doing.

       Once the initial split is made I honestly wish I could tell it’s over, but it’s not. You will second guess your decision, blame yourself for things that never happened and talk yourself into the fantasy that now that you’ve shown your strength, things will be DIFFERENT. Friends, I beg you do not fool yourselves, forget this one, work on you and the right one will come along…trust me on this, I’ve been on both sides. I have words I swear and live by; “Never go back, only go forward.” It has served me well. For one thing, there is no going back, not really. You may choose to live in the past but while you’re there your life is passing you by. Then one day you wake up, you’ve lost control of your car, the resulting accident breaks your neck and you end up a quadriplegic. Now I try to make certain every day counts and my relationship comes second to me.

 Believe me things are still complicated and doubly so now that Eric is disabled. I feel guilty as hell for helping to cripple him. He’s not the same man since I became injured. The man I knew before never would have cheated on me and we had a wonderful, sensuous, no holds barred sex life. Now he won’t even touch me without a glove. Can you imagine how that makes me feel? Yet he stays to care for me while it cripples him more and more each day when all he would have to do to get better is put me in a home or leave me. So what kind of love is that? I’ll tell you, it’s unconditional, it’s Biblical. I will leave you with my favorite passage my dear friends and hope that you become healthy enough and learn to love yourselves enough to settle for nothing less.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8   

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please feel free to be as open, honest, blunt, and real as think you need to when leaving your comment. any of you who can relate to any one of my issues or takes offense to something I've written I'd especially like to hear from. I'm sorry to say that any comments left anonymously will not be published whether positive or negative. however, i still appreciate the insight and value the opinion. Thanks, L.A.M.B.