Monday, July 25, 2011
Now you must spend a reasonable amount of time working on yourself and getting your head straight, your feelings under control and emotional health in tip top shape. Whether this means getting to your local library, studying over the internet, seeing a professional therapist or talking to a close and trusted friend, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to get healthy about choosing, living with and interacting with a live – in love partner.
There is no set time period it only takes as long as it takes before you’re ready to try hand at love again. You don’t want to go into a relationship already placing conditions, having unrealistic expectations or expecting the worst. With this attitude you are definitely NOT ready. The way to know when you’re ready is when you no longer feel the need for someone else in your life. In other words, when you are completely content to be with yourself and don’t yearn to be with someone else as if something is missing from your life. Then and only then will you be ready and this time you will more than likely choose a partner that will treat you right, be available emotionally and have something in common with you. It would have blown your mind had you not taken all that time off to embark on a self improvement program!
Once you are ready for a love relationship the best thing to do is let it come to you. Don’t jump in your car, hit the singles bars and actively seek it out. You’re treading on dangerous ground here. This way can get you with a smooth talking one night stand which does nothing for your self esteem but lower it into the toilet and make you feel really crappy about yourself. Granted it doesn’t happen as easily or often as it did when we were able bodied. And it may be very tempting to have a one night stand because of the pervasive loneliness we go through as disabled woman. But in the long run I believe we will want to preserve our self image and worth. Of course the choice is ultimately your own.
(to be continued)