Thursday, February 17, 2011
After last night’s post I think it’s only fair that I expand on Eric’s physical condition and how he got that way. After all, I’ve been pretty hard on him, I told you all the horror stories but never paused a moment in my resentment to tell you the things I’m grateful for, things I’ll never be able to repay him for. Without Eric’s care I would have been in a nursing home or worse a long time ago.
Eric has extremely painful traumatic degenerative neuropathy in both feet and legs. His neurologist looked for everything trying to rule out every cause imaginable and when he finally did both Eric and his Doctor (who used to be my neurologist, by the way) were sad to admit that it was Eric’s lifestyle that was causing his health problems. The years of not getting enough sleep, being on his feet too many hours, always leaning over me to do something for me or to me, weeks and weeks of playing tag team with Dale while I was in the hospital and probably more that I’ve forgotten because of the memory loss from the comas, collapsed lungs, and brain seizures.
In short, he goes through this excruciating pain every day of his life because he tells me he loves me, couldn’t imagine a world without me in it and made a decision to keep me at home and care for me when my own family dropped the ball squarely in his lap or thinking his shoulders so broad they could take the gravity of this situation alone when they themselves were too cowardly to even offer the slightest bit of help. Save for my sister Mary.
I haven’t been very grateful, patient, longsuffering, selfless or kind all the things love are supposed to embody when it comes to Eric since the “Nicole incident”. But I’ve always believed in a philosophy where “what comes around, goes around “ or if you like “karma” or you may prefer “vengeance is mine, sayth the Lord.” It all means the same to me; eventually he who done me wrong eventually gets their just punishment. Just click my facebook link to what happened to Nicole. Maybe this is Eric’s punishment. It’s pretty damn harsh if it is. He doesn’t deserve it; he should get a medal for what he’s for me over the years and I need to remember that… everyday and every night. Of course it doesn’t make the things he did right but two wrongs will never, ever make things right. Besides, I’m a bigger person than that. But do go see what became of Sticky Nicky it just tickles me …I guess I’m not completely grown up yet. (tee…hee)