Sunday, November 20, 2011
I’ve been networking a lot on model mayhem and I’ve met a lot of people and made some special friends. I’d like to talk about one in particular. One who I’ve become so close to it frightens me. One who told me he loves me and wants to meet me…soon. We have talked to each other in depth and no, he is not a devo. He is a lonesome older gentleman, recently out of a codependent relationship.
I really like Bruce, I can’t say that I love him because my heart belongs to Eric and probably always will. It’s amazing to me that still love Eric so deeply after all the evil things he has done to me but for whatever reason I still love him deeply, truly, madly.
And I believe I’ve been nothing but upfront with Bruce, but if Eric knew some of the things I’ve said to Bruce, he’d go insane with a jealous rage. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing…am I leading Bruce on a path that has no destination just to make myself feel wanted or do I really care for this man enough to go through with an affair? I feel like a little kid who is orphaned and has no one to turn to for advice, making adult decisions on my own.
(to be continued)