Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Oh and by the way, for some reason (which I could use my amateur psychiatry to try and explain but won’t) after Nicole was gone Eric felt the need to tell me how the thing started AND about every infidelity he committed in the last 4 ½ years. First, I’d like to say in the eleven years we had together as an able bodied couple to my knowledge Eric never once cheated on me. If he did I NEVER saw signs of it, heard rumors to the affect or had any guilty conscious confessions. So I always trusted him completely and without reservation. I ‘m not saying I wasn’t possessive because I remember getting extremely jealous the first I found his pornography stash!
After I told him that Nicole was torturing me every day with her stories and showing me letters Eric had written to her, he ran upstairs and came down huffing and puffing with small stack of notes and told me she was the one that seduced him. “See honey, look at this, I found it on the kitchen table just a week after she started!”He held the slip of paper out to me. On it were three hand printed words: I’m sooo wet… There were many more some short horny phrases akin to the afore mentioned some long drawn out declarations of her undying love for him and still others asking him why he wouldn’t leave me, put me in a home where I belonged and move her in here with her four children. As long as I’ve known Eric, (almost 17 years) I’ve never known him to want or LIKE children. Apparently, Nicole had her eye on Eric as far back as when I interviewed her. And stupid, trusting, and self absorbed me didn’t see or even for a second suspect it! According to Eric their first encounter happened without him knowing. He took regular naps in the late afternoon because he doesn’t get much sleep at night caring for me. The weather was still fairly warm being early fall and he liked to nap in our van which had a fold down rear seat that turned into a full size bed. One afternoon Eric tells me he went out to take his nap and there was Nicole wearing nothing but thigh high leather boots and a smile lying on the van bed waiting for him. RIGHT AFTER HER SHIFT!!!
But back to the unexplained confessions, Eric sat beside my bed one morning shortly after Nicole left and told me each and every indiscretion he’s ever had or even had the chance to pursue since I got hurt. Three of them were my trusted caretakers/attendants and one of these worked here more than a year and I considered a very good friend (remember Janice?) I used to call her “Pookie” and I loved her. That was another issue about Eric and Nicole’s liaison, Eric, of course, crushed me. I still have nightmares about the months of torture I was forced to endure. But I had real feelings for Nicole as well and she broke my trust and did something to me no living human was ever able to do; bring out feelings of real hatred, vengeance and malice. I used to pray for my soul after having some of the vicious thoughts and secret wishes that I fantasized would happen to her and her family. But in the end she did get hers. Check out my facebook page if you want to know what. There’s a link right on my blog. (hint, hint)
But I digress, so back to the subject at hand, Eric’s odd, painful, and unnecessary confessions. He me told about nurses and receptionists that offered their phone numbers just in case he needed or a wanted to be with a “real woman” instead of a cripple. And the main reason he wasn’t seeing Nicole anymore was because Devie’s (the woman from Canada) sister had found him on facebook and told him Devie was very sick and wanted to talk to him. Then he admitted he never really stopped talking to her all these years and they only lost touch for a couple of months. I asked him if he loved her and he said yes. I asked him how he could be in love with so many different women at once and his reply was that he didn’t love Nicole anymore now that he saw her for what she truly was but he would always love Devie and I better get used it. I was so depressed over everything that happened that I lost another ten pounds because I simply could not eat. Those are the pics of me in red with little black leather skirt. Notice my arms; you’ll be able to tell. And I was wearing my Victoria’s Secret bra, ladies you know what that means. By the time he done describing how my Pookie gave him head (felatio) in the next room while I was in my room working on the computer, I had cried so long and hard there were tears and snot all over my pillow case and my eyes were nearly swollen shut. I hope it made him feel better in some way.