I came across a poem I wrote to Eric in which I tried to get him to understand how my upbringing affected my emotional growth. This is it:
There once was a rosebud
Precious and new
That searched for the sunlight
But found only the gloom
Even the raindrops
Were tainted that fell
Upon her tender leaves
No blossoms could swell
So slowly she withered
Under black clouds that loomed
Without some ray of light
She could have never bloomed
But one day a warm wind
Blew up from the sky
And parted the darkness
Before she could die
A single ray of sunshine
Shone down on her face
Her petals soon opened
Like silken pink lace
Under that blazing hope
That had ever slowly healed
All her inner beauty
To the world was revealed
It was signed: You are my light, I love you I miss you
Your lady,
Lori
Your poem made me cry. I feel that way about my man too. As much wrong as he's done to me, as many things that have gone wrong in our relationship, I love him and probably always will. He essentially rescued me from the depths of despair. Do I still feel the same as I did? No, I don't but that part of me will always remember what it was like to be treated like a queen. He treated me like a queen in the beginning and when things are going sour here, I try to keep that in my mind. Yes, he has his bad points and yes, he has walked on me a lot. But he has never laid a hand on me, not ever. Yes, sometimes I feel as if I traded one bad person for another and it is terrible that I have allowed things to progress to the way they are now. But, in a way, I will always be grateful to him for not hurting me physically. That is a beautiful poem you wrote and I know it came straight from your heart. I can only hope that someday you will find it in yourself to forgive Eric, he is a wonderful man in many ways..
ReplyDeleteLove you Lori-YOU ARE MY LIGHT! :)
Your poem just made me cry. I felt that way once about my man. I feel that he rescued me from the depths of despair. At that point in time, he was my "knight in shining armour". He treated me like a queen. Yes, I still love him and always will. If we would split up, I would be devastated. I felt and still do feel that anything was better than being physically abused. Yes, he has his bad points, yes he is self-centered and greedy but I do love him. I hope someday that you can find it in yourself to forgive Eric. Yes, he did something horrible and yes, I know it has left permanent scars on your heart. But, he is a wonderful man that would do anything for anyone. I know he would give someone the shirt off his back if he thought they needed it. He has stood by your side through thick and thin, good and bad. He is one of those "diamonds in the rough".. I hope that someday you and he will find the happiness you both deserve, with each other! I hope you can find what you had before. Anyway, the point of this is just to tell you to never give up hope, there's hope as long as you believe!
ReplyDeleteand one more thing: YOU ARE MY LIGHT!
I love you Lori.. never forget that!