Saturday, February 4, 2012

Guilt

I’m sorry to break away from the subject at hand but I’m very depressed. I wish I could come right out and tell you what is bothering me so profoundly but I can’t bring myself to do that just yet. Let’s just say I’m feeling so trapped in a situation that causes me so much guilt and fear my stomach is constantly filled with remorseful nausea. It’s something that Eric decided to do and now I’m inevitably caught up in it.

       His justifications all seem sound and his methods are impeccable. But the bottom line is that the act in and of itself is so distasteful it’s causing me tremendous grief. I don’t know what to do because as right now I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. The only time I feel good about it is immediately after the act itself. Even then I begin to worry about the “what if’s”. I don’t want to be a part of it but this month I’m pretty much forced to. I can’t wait until things are back to normal. That won’t be for about 2 weeks.

       After that I have choice to make. Hopefully, I make the right one.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going so well right now. I understand that you don't want to write about the details on your blog quite yet, but I hope that you will want to write about it at some point in the future because I always enjoy hearing about your feelings and what's going on in your life – good or bad.

    I hope things turn up for you soon!
    – Heather

    ReplyDelete

please feel free to be as open, honest, blunt, and real as think you need to when leaving your comment. any of you who can relate to any one of my issues or takes offense to something I've written I'd especially like to hear from. I'm sorry to say that any comments left anonymously will not be published whether positive or negative. however, i still appreciate the insight and value the opinion. Thanks, L.A.M.B.