Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Letting go of resentments is a painstakingly slow, difficult and emotional process. But it is one that is vital for your psychological healing and must be done sooner rather than later. Remember when I told you that I couldn’t stop loving my ex-husband until I stopped hating him? This was part of letting go of resentment toward him for all the wrongs he did to me and how badly I felt about myself for letting him. Finally giving up the fantasy that if I would have done something differently, I could have changed the outcome of our doomed marriage; at last putting an end to blaming myself for not being pretty enough, sexy enough, a good enough lover, friend, housewife, cook and on and on…for HIS infidelities and drunken drug binges.
When I began to take care of myself through AA, outpatient mental health therapy and prayer and my own spiritual program based on my beliefs in what I consider God to be, I began to heal. It’s a process that each of you will have to experience for yourself no matter how much I tell you I’ve been there and feel your pain. No one would like it more than I if I could just wave a magical wand and make it all better for all of you suffering through a breakup or trying desperately to “get your head together”.
All I can do is make suggestions based on my own experiences and I must admit I’ve had many, many experiences. I picked up a dreadful habit while living with my 1st husband; I became a truly ill, terribly addicted and fully fledged alcoholic by example and years of practice. Thankfully, I haven’t had a drink since alcohol took my sister’s life ten years ago but I drank off and on throughout my relationship with Eric which stunted a beautiful union that could have been epic in its proportions and nearly was despite my disease.
However, I digress and we must get back on topic; letting go of those resentments that are eating a hole in your heart and soul.
(to be continued)