Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Letting Go of Resentments Part 1

       Letting go of resentments is a painstakingly slow, difficult and emotional process. But it is one that is vital for your psychological healing and must be done sooner rather than later. Remember when I told you that I couldn’t stop loving my ex-husband until I stopped hating him? This was part of letting go of resentment toward him for all the wrongs he did to me and how badly I felt about myself for letting him. Finally giving up the fantasy that if I would have done something differently, I could have changed the outcome of our doomed marriage; at last putting an end to blaming myself for not being pretty enough, sexy enough, a good enough lover, friend, housewife, cook and on and on…for HIS infidelities and drunken drug binges.

       When I began to take care of myself through AA, outpatient mental health therapy and prayer and my own spiritual program based on my beliefs in what I consider God to be, I began to heal. It’s a process that each of you will have to experience for yourself no matter how much I tell you I’ve been there and feel your pain. No one would like it more than I if I could just wave a magical wand and make it all better for all of you suffering through a breakup or trying desperately to “get your head together”.

       All I can do is make suggestions based on my own experiences and I must admit I’ve had many, many experiences. I picked up a dreadful habit while living with my 1st husband; I became a truly ill, terribly addicted and fully fledged alcoholic by example and years of practice. Thankfully, I haven’t had a drink since alcohol took my sister’s life ten years ago but I drank off and on throughout my relationship with Eric which stunted a beautiful union that could have been epic in its proportions and nearly was despite my disease.

       However, I digress and we must get back on topic; letting go of those resentments that are eating a hole in your heart and soul.

(to be continued)

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please feel free to be as open, honest, blunt, and real as think you need to when leaving your comment. any of you who can relate to any one of my issues or takes offense to something I've written I'd especially like to hear from. I'm sorry to say that any comments left anonymously will not be published whether positive or negative. however, i still appreciate the insight and value the opinion. Thanks, L.A.M.B.