Sunday, June 19, 2011
When you are small and young say preteen, you didn’t want to be on the shit list because my mother was not much of a paddler when it came to discipline. She didn’t need to be. She always said she could cut someone to the quick using just a word and she proved it when we did or said something she disagreed with or found to be in bad taste. She would fill us with so much shame and we would then feel so guilt ridden and repentant that we never wanted to displease her again. Unless we really did something out of line or dangerous we really didn’t have too much to worry about since my older half brother Jimmy and older half sister Cathy usually were neck and neck in the race to see who could upset her the most.
As my younger sister Mary and I got into our teens it seemed the only way to get any real attention in the family was to be on the shit list. So as you can see we got some real mixed signals growing up. We all married alcoholic men just like our fathers’ except Cathy who never married anyone but a bottle of booze. Unfortunately, my favorite sister died of heart failure as a direct result of her alcoholism. She only lived 45 years on this planet which was not enough. And my brother never married because drugs ruined his mind and he was diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic at age 27 when he was so violent we had to have him removed from the house by the police and admitted to Torrance State Hospital for the mentally insane.
(To be continued)