Thursday, April 21, 2011
Another thing I would change I if would have had the strength and presence of mind would have been to pay more attention to Eric’s needs. I sincerely wish with all my heart that I could have for seen what my neediness, impatience and self centeredness was doing to our relationship and to Eric himself. If only I could have opened my eyes to his depression and grief it may have saved me all that heartache of him turning to other women for solace. Of course I was fresh out the hospital and probably still in shock, deep depression and a high state of anxiety that I could not explain to anyone except another victim of SCI. But who knows he still may have had the affairs anyway, it seems like I can do nothing to please him at this point in time. I believe we might have been able to recover from the first 6 months with no help IF I‘d have done all things I talked about earlier in my post. But who knows; only God and he quit talking to me! (or I stopped listening).
But for all my newly injured friends I beseech you, read the first few chapters of my blog again and then reread this part “My Mission and More” and consider my words VERY carefully, please. It just may save you from going to nursing home, losing the love of your life or living in a situation such as mine. I don’t want this for you my dear friend as I’m certain you don’t want it for yourself. Never lose hope; things CAN be worse even though it doesn’t seem like it now. I’m here for you so you have at least have one friend who’s been through it all. Never be afraid to email me or IM me on yahoo. You’ll find all my information on face book. Hang in there and remember you are a warrior, a survivor and a superstar!