Thursday, February 10, 2011
The winter has been so dismal, bleak, oppressive and depressing that I fear I simply just I can’t take much more. My thyroid is out of whack so perhaps that explains my somber humor. Or maybe it’s more the emotional and physical carnival ride the conductor won’t let me off of that is to blame. Yet, it could be the ever ongoing loneliness, longing, and isolation that cover my heart like a cold damp blanket. Then there’s the agonizing pain in my legs which only gets worse as the day wears on into night. If it sounds as though I’m complaining I am. I will not bother trying to make excuses or go into long a discussion explaining my reasons for doing it: I am simply complaining. I am after all only human, simply weak of flesh, and with as fragile a mind as a battered child.
TRCIL (Three Rivers Center for Independent Living) has stopped calling and trying to set me up with a new peer counselor after taking Don off my case. I’m still not sure why they separated us to begin with but I refused their offers of any replacements. For some reason, which I’m certain has to do with the liberal agenda, the state funded program which pays for my waivers like peer support has stopped doing so. UNLESS I give up my four hours a week for outings ect. and go with one hour of in home bull sessions. BULLSHIT!!!
Needless to say, I was very disappointed and disgusted by the whole mess. Luckily, I have Don, who is not just a peer counselor but a true friend and ended up offering to take me out on his time once a month for four hour hours. So we still keep in touch in person and on the internet and through email. He has introduced me to so many influential people over the years and over facebook that I’ve made business contacts, job opportunities, and wonderful friends just from those contacts. God Bless you tonight buddy, wherever you may be.